Updated: Mar 30, 2019
finding you in a busy place.
“Don't let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." -Dalai Lama
It took me a long time to get here. I'm a mom. I'm a wife. A hard worker. Two jobs. Pet owner. And somehow also supposed to be a friend, sister, aunt, and decent person. It's not always easy. Every day is different. But make no mistake, figuring out what balance means to your life is essential if you don't plan on losing your sanity.
Balance means setting new boundaries, which can be a painful process as you grow. Friendships you once thought were reciprocated no longer seem to be. Some relationships turn toxic and no longer align with where you see your life headed. Balance is self care (yay for 5am coffee!!) and self love.
Let me say, it's okay to NOT be okay. There is no normal. There is no race against anyone but yourself. Trying to restore balance, figure out who you are, and not feel like you're running ragged every day could literally be your only goal. So how do you even start?
Figure out what you want. The big picture; That unicorn and rainbows, winning lottery day that we envision in our heads occasionally. How different is it from where you stand now? WHY IS IT DIFFERENT? What can you do today to start bridging the gap between where you are and what you want?
Slow down. Slowing down is hard, because we live in a world of instant gratification. We have everything we need at the click of a button. We don't need to leave the house for groceries, furniture sets, or boxed wine. While I too love clicking and seeing my package on my front porch two days later, we also need to realize that growth within ourselves is not always the click of a button. It's not a quick fix. It's quality. It's intricate. It's potentially uncomfortable and requires massive changes.
So give yourself time. It's not an overnight process. It's not a five minute blog.
It's reminding yourself in the morning to be grateful for the clothes on your body, roof over your head, and food in your belly- so many don't have this.
Be grateful for the screaming toddler waking you from a dead sleep in the middle of the night- so many beautiful women would KILL to have those sounds radiate through their home.
Give yourself a compliment in the morning instead of picking apart your acne, wrinkles, or messed hair. You hear enough negatives daily. Don't participate and help the negative energy.
Compliment a stranger. I've made this a regular part of my random life now. If I love your dress, I might randomly shout across the aisle that it's amazing. Also, if your toddler dressed themselves this morning, I will absolutely compliment their style. THESE ARE THE SEEDS. You get to pick the energies that help others and yourself grow. You don't get to pick how they perceive it, but you get to choose the energy that you're putting out for others to see.
Finally, one of the most important things in restoring your own balance is one of the hardest..... say NO. To others. To toxicity. To things your don't agree with. I'm not saying march up to your boss in a full state of rebellion. But for the energy suckers around you that ask more from you than you have to give, say NO. For the person who only needs you when it benefits them, say no. To the overtime at work that the boss insists you work, even though you haven't seen your family in a week. Your mental health is so important. Your rest time is so essential for a reset. This is for sure a hard one, so just start with one are of your life, unless you feel that overpowering energy to wake up and take on the world with the full force of marching into battle.
Balance doesn't happen overnight. It happens with practice and with new boundaries, with learning self love and self respect. It's gratitude and letting things go. It's forgiveness and mindfulness. Find yourself.